How to Go Guesting

guest (n.) - a person who spends some time at another person's home in some social activity, as a visit, dinner, or party.

to guest (v.) - the act of going to another person's home in some social activity, as a visit, dinner, or party. Related forms: 'to go guesting'

One of the main ways PCV's get to know their community is by going guesting. Azerbaijani people describe themselves as qonaqperver, or 'hospitable.' This is definitely true of virtually everyone I have met here in Zaqatala. It is not unusual for someone whom you have only met for five minutes to invite you to their home for çay.

The upcoming week will be characterized by a rise in these invitations to go guesting, as we are approaching the holiday of Novruz. This is my FAVORITE holiday in Azerbaijan, it celebrates the coming of spring and you get to jump over bonfires, throw hats at people's front doors to make them give you candy, and everyone makes homemade şəkərburə (not sure how to spell that) and paxlava. (If you want to read more about the Novruz holiday, which has its origins in Zoroastrianism, check out the All-knowing Source for Everything You Ever Wanted to Know.



So in honor of how much I will be stuffing my face at other people's houses over the next week and a half, I have put together a How-To cheat sheet detailing what a successful guesting experience is all about.


STEP ONE: Say yes.

People will want you to come to their house, the offers aren't too hard to come by. The hardest part is actually accepting, because many of these offers will be made to you in a casual conversation in the middle of the street as you're on your way to a convo club or class. Sometimes you just won't be in the mood to go over to someone else's house. Maybe you're having one of those days where you just can't communicate in Azerbaijani. It happens. Whenever you're ready to make the (usually at least an hour long) commitment, Say YES. When you are propositioned to come have tea, say "SURE! Let's go right now!" Or, say "SURE! Right now is not a good time, but I will come by at [some time] later today." If you are postponing the guesting, (and not just doing one of those "sure I'll go" when you have no intention of ever going), make sure to actually set a date and time. You should also ask them for their number, so you can call a few hours ahead of when you will actually be going.


STEP TWO: Bring something.

Whenever you go guesting at someone's house for more than just çay, (a meal perhaps), it is common etiquette to bring a gift to the host. Usually that means some kind of sweet pastry or çay candy from the store. Some of the things I have given include: those delicious wafers they sell by the kilo, those small milk candies, homemade persimmon bread, a 2-liter of Pepsi, a bottle of sparkling cider, and homemade cookies. You don't have to break the bank, the gesture counts more than whatever it is you're bringing. And if it is someone you know well, they probably don't expect you to bring anything at all.

There's more, but this post was getting long so stay tuned for Part 2 of my super incredibly helpful guide to guesting.